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Thriving and staying sane as a stay at home mom

in Motherhood - Lisa Van Groningen - 27 min read
Staying sane as a stay at home mom

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Staying sane as a stay at home mom with your kids is easier said than done but there are some tips that can help.

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I have had my fair share of moments where I lost it. Yelling and screaming. Saying to my husband I just need to be alone. So frustrated that even the littlest of things annoyed me.

Only to have regret that I yelled and feeling afterward like a horrible mother. Only to walk in the room to apologize with a somber heart.

While it’s not easy as snapping our fingers you can though help control your thoughts and funnel them. Allowing clarity so you can continue life without feeling stressed, irritable, or overwhelmed.

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This post is for those stay at home moms who may be feeling like they are about to lose it. For those stay at home moms to be and how to avoid losing your sanity.

1. Wake up before the kids

The feeling of overwhelm and never having a break can create a stressful situation. Being home with kids all day leaves no room for that break.

That’s why waking up before them can be helpful. Being of sound mind as a mom means so much more because your little ones demand so much of your attention.

Creating alone time before the household wakes can do wonders. This is the time that you build for yourself and it can be whatever you want it to be.

Here are some examples:

  • Workout time
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    I find when I wake up before the family and do something I want to do without distractions. I feel happier, accomplished fulfilled in doing something that refuels me.

    2. Create a cleaning schedule

    The overwhelmed feeling that the house is a mess will feed into your negative mindset.

    You don’t have time for the house to run you. The mess of the toys, never-ending dishes, and chaos needs to have a balance.

    I clean one room a day. It’s not as much as a schedule it’s more of a task. I chose one room to clean a day.

    Let me also tell you that no sane stay at home mom has their house together 100% of the time. If you are thinking that you are a slacker mom or failing at being a stay at home mom.

    Think again sista. That is not reality and the more kids you have the more stuff will be out of place.

    Creating a cleaning schedule will help and reducing toy clutter helps as well.

    The goal is to deposit into your cleaning bank. By cleaning one room a day your house will be “clean” and only daily messes will need to be picked up.

    Remember there is a difference between clean and mess.

    3. Do one thing for yourself once a day

    One of the biggest mistakes I made after my 3rd child, was not stopping to take a minute to do something I loved.

    I became consumed with doing for all 3 kids, household and hubby. Not allowing myself the much-needed break.

    This didn’t happen though to me until I had more kids I found the more kids I had the less time I had, the less I gave to myself.

    If you are a new stay at home mom thinking you have to spend all your time doing everything for everyone else and not doing anything you enjoy or want to do this is WRONG!

    REMEMBER TO TREAT YOURSELF

    That is the exact thing that will lead you into insanity.

    Your basic needs are essential, mama. I can’t tell you how many of us warrior stay at home moms have fallen into that trap. Thinking your soul purpose is to never once think of your self first.

    This leads to mental warfare. You will begin to resent being home. Have resentful feelings towards your husband. Your mindset will go down a dark rabbit hole and you will lose your motivation as a stay at home mom.

    Some ideas of things you can do for your self.

    • Paint your nails
    • watch a show
    • call a friend
    • buy something you have been wanting for awhile
    • Make something (are you a crafty mama?)
    • Take an online class
    • Take an in-person class
    • Go to a group workout or gym

    Anything that brings you joy is what you need to tap into.

    For me after 5 years of trying to figure out what I needed. I discovered it was a creative outlet. So blogging became that for me. While I love to craft I get a little of that when I do kid projects.

    Yey, I needed to tap into what brought me more joy and fulfillment. Service to others is my “spiritual gift”. For me when I can make someone else’s life better I feel inner joy.

    4. Go on daily walks

    There is science behind the magical thing called walking in nature.

    It can be as simple as loading the kids into the stroller or wagon and walking around the neighborhood.

    Some of the best walks the kids and I have taken have been through the forest. You see completely changing your surroundings and being engulfed in nature will release happen hormones.

    Let the kids play in nature and explore.

    Toddler walking

    While walking stay off your phone. If you do use it only for pictures. In order to experience the benefits of this, you have to disconnect.

    Related: The best stroller wagons for active moms

    5. Create a simple routine with flexibility

    Routines! Routines! Routines! they are one of the best things you can do thrive as a stay at home mom.

    One important factor that you must not forget. Within your routines, you must also allow flexibility. Here is why.

    If you create a strict routine or schedule for every second of the day. When those plans fall through it is a recipe for disaster.

    You will set yourself up for disappointment. Don’t do this! Create simple routines that help navigate the day and transition.

    Children can derail any plan in a matter of seconds. That’s why flexibility is so important.

    I have a morning routine, nap-time routine, and bedtime routine. Everything else in between is flexible unless it is a scheduled appointment/event.

    6. Find stay at home moms in your area

    One of the most critical things a stay at home mom needs is her tribe. Your mom tribe creates community, support, and friendships for you and your children.

    You know that phrase “it takes a village”. It is so true.

    One of the first things that can help many mothers is to find other mothers to connect with.

    Related: Making mom friends as a stay at home mom – 5 places to find them

    7. Schedule play dates to give you a rest

    Entertaining your kids day after day alone can become exhausting. Even though I love taking my kids to cool places. Being alone with them all the time can wear on you.

    The power of playdates works wonders. I love planning play dates so my kids can interact with other kids. Bonus is I get the social interaction of another mom.

    Together we get to tag team the kids and hang out. Believe me, your mom friends will thank you. Motherhood is hard and we shouldn’t do it alone.

    You can go out to places together or keep it simple as going over each other’s house. It is amazing what even two hours with friends over and no agenda can do.

    As a mom, you feel less suffocated.

    Related: How to save money to take your kids to cool places

    8. Seek professional help

    It is a true fact that postpartum can show its ugly face even up to one year after having your baby.

    As a new mom having one crying baby, nursing and suffering from lack of sleep can be so hard. If you have more than one child it is even tougher to recognize the need. Because you begin to function on survival mode.

    After my 3rd I experienced a change and struggled for almost 18 months. I suffered from postpartum anxiety and adrenal fatigue. What I discovered helped me but I waited too long to seek help.

    Seeking help is not a bad thing, it is actually one of the best things you can do for everyone. Don’t think that getting counseling or medication makes you unable or a bad mom. It’s quite the opposite.

    9. Talk to your partner about your needs

    A healthy relationship, marriage helps with thriving as a stay at home mom. It is imperative to have open communication.

    Remember because you are a stay at home mom this thang is a partnership. You both are making sacrifices and have needs.

    If you are feeling overwhelmed or need a break you need to tell you’re significant other.

    Expressing those feelings cans lift a burden off your shoulders. It may be difficult though, I understand.

    You may think that expressing those feelings are not right as a stay at home mom.

    You are not superwoman though we all think that we are, I included. You need the support of your significant other.

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    Starting the conversation with a simple phrase like “honey would you mind?” If I took a workout class, got my nails done…fill in the blanks.

    Expressing that you would like a brief moment in time to recenter. Is not selfish nor undeserving.

    I am guilty of this myself self but I know what I am saying is so true.

    10. Give yourself grace

    It is often a common myth that as a stay at home mom we all supposed to be happy all the time. You should enjoy every minute of being a mom.

    False!

    When we sabotage our minds thinking we are horrible moms for needing a mental break it does no one any good. It is so important to remember that having a healthy mind is imperative.

    If you need a nap one day THAT IS OK! It is not going to ruin your child. If you watch more than one movie in one day THAT IS OK!

    Your children aren’t going to grow up to be angry monsters because you gave them tablet time once in a while.

    Give yourself grace mama. You are doing an amazing job. No one has the perfect parenting style. No one knows everything about raising the best kids in the world.

    Every child is different and so is everyone’s life. Know that you are the perfect mom for your children because God chose you to be their mom.

    11. Make time for each other (date your spouse)

    I know this is so much easier said than done. I left this one at the end because while I know it is very important. It is also one of the most difficult tasks to do.

    The cost of child-care and time alone comes so few and far in between.

    But if you develop bedtime routines and give yourself time after the kids go to bed. You can build in cuddle time, movie time and alone time which is what you need.

    On the occasion that you get to go out, it will be a treat and special. Scheduling time together monthly for a movie or dinner can also help.

    Tips to remember so you can stay lucid as a stay at home mom

    • If you are showing signs of stress or anxious your kids feel it.
    • When you are overtired and about to lose your sanity as a stay at home mom things can get haywire.
    • Refocus on you, allow yourself the much-needed outlet.
    • You have needs too and the person you were before kids “she matters”. So take time for her and find what works in your rhythm of raising your tribe.

    What are some ideas you can share with other moms that have helped you stay sane as a stay at home mom? Share it in the comments

Lisa Van Groningen

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About Me

About Me

Hi, I'm Lisa

I am your former career-driven mom turned stay at home mom of 3. Here you will find real life solutions to help you manage your home. Tips to help you organize and clean. So you can create the haven your desire while making time to do the things you love most. Check out the shop for printables!

Lisa

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