You put in your notice and stated you weren’t going to return to work after maternity leave. Feeling excited, scared and nervous all at the same time. You and your spouse decided that you staying home was the best choice for your family and so you are taking the leap. Now all you have to do is find your mom village. But where do you begin?
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This was exactly me and what we decided for when I was going to be a stay at home mom after the birth of our second child. The choice was clear as day after looking at daycare cost, commutes and quality of life for our kids.
Finding your new groove can be hard the first couple of months as a stay at home mom. Finding your village of mom’s who understand and can support you is imperative.
After the birth of our son, I was in a joyous state of mind, my pace of life had slowed down. Each day was calmer and sending my oldest off to school without rushing was and still is a blessing. My husband indicated right away he loved how the morning stress was gone.
For a while, I was in heaven but then isolation started to creep in. So I set out to start getting out of the house with our son. This began the journey of finding my mom village.
Why you need a village
Motherhood is full of ups and downs it takes a village to get you through it. People who will be there when times get tough. People you can count on for advice, a shoulder to cry on, emergency babysitters and everything in-between.
They will also be the people who send you gifts just cause. They are there for you when you or your family gets sick. They celebrate accomplishments with your family and show up to your events. Their kids create friendships with yours and you gain a support system.
There will be times in your life where you will need a good laugh dealing with the craziness of being a parent. These people will understand. They help you when you feel lost as a parent, keep you grounded, remind you how awesome of a job you are doing and will go through the seasons of motherhood with you.
So how do you find your mom village
Not all villages look the same, yours will be unique to you. The first step though is to show up. Yup, it’s as simple as that, get out the house and go places.
In the beginning, it will feel a bit weird, you will see some moms already with mom friends or their circle. Don’t let that worry you. Your village will come. Your village is out there.
Find local Facebook events and start attending them with your kiddo. Use your local park district if you have one and get involved in all the programs you can.
This is how I started and now 4 years later I have friendships with a group of moms in my area.
When you have children your life changes and so do you.
Where to meet your mom village
One of the best places to find a fellow mom friend is to attend local mom groups. This can serve best for your little one and for you. Social time is so vital for your child’s development and so necessary for your mental state as a mom. Staying behind 4 walls all day will indeed make you crazy, don’t do this to yourself!!
No Excuse Moms This free workout group will help you jump start your health journey. This includes challenges within your local group and even national challenges. A dedicated Facebook support group. Most workouts are with your kids. This group is so judgment-free and motivating you will love coming back each time.
Through my group, I learned how to eat better and prepare better meals for my kids. I gained tips from other moms on where to find better whole foods and new recipes. I discovered the world of essential oils and holistic/natural path doctors.
Mops International Known as Mothers of Preschoolers. These local groups offer meetings with topic discussions and connect with other moms. Most groups offer daycare as well.
“ MOPS International encourages and equips moms of young children to realize their potential as mothers, women and leaders, in relationship with Jesus, and in partnership with the local church.”
Fit4Mom this group has fitness and wellness classes for moms. This community offers classes and online courses. Specialty classes such as stroller strides, run clubs, stroller barre and so much more.
MomcoMoms this unique group connects moms through playgroups. They offer mingle kits, crafts, and snacks. Awesome freebies of must-have mom products. This is a Facebook run group where you can find your own local one or join to lead one.
Church A church home can work wonders for your spiritual growth and connections. Join small groups in your church or create one yourself. If your church does not have a group of moms who meet, considering starting one during the summer months. Meet once or twice a month and go on field trips to the zoo or local areas.
I have gained some awesome faith warrior mom friends through my small group. People who I can lean on when I need to refill my soul as a mom. People who understand that God doesn’t expect perfection and that being a mom has so many challenges. The women who support my faith as a Christian mom.
Finding your support and being there for your community
Friendship after motherhood creates a whole new person in you. These little people demand so much of you and it can be overwhelming. This is where your village can fill in the gaps but you have to be willing to also be there for your community.
There is no perfection in this game of life. So don’t forget to be vulnerable. You won’t find mom friends if you pretend like you have all your $hit together all the time. That is not even real.
We all have bad days as moms. Mom fails and screaming tantrums. We have doubts and plenty of mom guilt. I am not saying to spill your guts to every mom you come across. As you engage in conversations learn more about them. Share in the woes of motherhood and the joys of it too.
It takes a village to raise children and a mom.