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Self-care for moms; why do we suck at it & how to change it

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Do you have a self-care routine? Do you actually follow through with your self-care routine? Wish you could just have 15 mins of me-time? Are you wanting to finally start a self-care routine and actually commit to it? Get a life lesson from a Baby Boomer mom about self-care for moms and ideas you need to try.

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One day I was visiting my mother-in-law with the kids. I ❤ love talking to her. She was/has been a stay-at-home mom most of her life. She raised 4 kids and now on occasion helps with all her grandkids.

Throughout the years she worked outside the home on and off.

Both moms are alike. Except she is from the Baby Boomer mom generation while I am from the Millennial mom generation.

She is my soundboard when I am faced with some tough stuff as a mom. Being my confidant and my mentor. I am so grateful to God that I have a loving and wonderful relationship with her. I know it’s not always the case with some moms.

Like any normal day, we do activities with the kids and eat yummy desserts that she has made from scratch.


We got to talking about mom life and my life as a blogger/stay-at-home mom. We got on to the subject of self-care.

Self-care is not a new topic by any means. You hear it preached all the time. It was what she said that finally stuck out to me and made me take in the hard truth.

Self-care requires discipline

What she said to me was “Our generation did a poor job of teaching the importance of self-care”.

It made me stop in my tracks. But finally, I got it. I understood. Millennial moms talk a lot about self-care. Self-care for moms is a buzzword. The self-care/health care industry is huge you can find magazines, billboards, and ads all targeting millennials’ self-care routines.

We know we should take better care of ourselves. We often talk about it but don’t act on it. Myself included. I mean I bought the P90x program and it’s still sitting in the box.

Here was a mother who has raised 4 kids and now is helping raise 7 grandchildren, to be honest. She admits that all mothers even her generation lacked self-care. She extended the gift of wisdom.

Don’t do as our generation did.

This was the secret, we need to create this discipline. We need to follow through on it and be better.

Self-care ideas for moms when you are an exhausted mother

How do we mothers begin to even think about self-care when we can’t even get a decent’s nights sleep.

Being a mother of 3 kids I understand the effects of lack of sleep. I have felt crazy, literally crazy. Foggy brain where I can’t think or my brain feels like it is on a brain delay.

My last two kids did not sleep fully through the night until after 18 months. Currently, my youngest who is 18-months-old is still getting up. I struggle with insomnia because of the daily uninterrupted sleep.

Let me offer some advice before you start adding anything else to your plate. Start getting more sleep.

Here are some ways I do this:

  • Take naps when you can
  • Go to bed as soon as you put the kids down
  • Ask husband to watch the kids and take a nap on the weekends
  • Ask a friend or my family to stay with the kids

Rest is so vital mama. I know it is also so hard to do. But no other self-care routine can replace rest. Nothing can recharge your body more than a full 8 hours of sleep.

Other self-care ideas for moms

  • Create a Sunday Reset Routine
  • Sit in silence at least once a day
  • Take a fun class you enjoy
  • Go out for long walks
  • Schedule a regular friend date
  • Take a once a month mommy day
  • Ask for gifts to pamper yourself
  • Order groceries instead of going to the store
  • Journal
  • Disconnect from social media
  • Spend time in the library and read
  • Exercise

Bridging the gap between motherhood generations and self-care for moms

In this article by a health and wellness website, I read something interesting.

A Google/Nielsen Boomer Survey from August 2012 reported that 78 percent of this age group has searched health information online after seeing something on TV.

Health appears to be greater priority for boomers today than for previous generations. 

Recent studies report that Boomers are less stressed than Gen Xers or Millennials, and despite age-related diseases, they report feeling healthier compared with their younger counterparts

It seems the trend of the boomers is taking the time to actually do the self-care now. But wait they are less stressed than we are?

using essential oils and working out

It’s true though. We meaning my generation are way too stressed out as moms.

Then, I read another article that stated the millennial generation devotes the most time and money to the $10 billion self-care industry.

Well, I can say yes that is in fact true. I don’t know of any mom friends that haven’t purchased a workout subscription, DVD health book, or anything related to that. I mean our phones have health trackers. Our smartwatches remind us to breathe mindfully.

But interestingly enough many millennial mothers still lack self-care. We are more aware and have many tools to help us succeed. We have access to information our mothers did not have but we still can’t seem to figure it out.

Without a doubt, using essential oils now is more mainstream and natural body products are sought out more often now. I for one am a huge fan.

Except, I still find it so hard to actually take care of myself. There are times when I get to the point where I become frazzled as a mom.

Creating the self-care mom discipline

Yet, the secret is we lack the understanding of the discipline. The discipline that our self-care is vital to our whole being.

We are busier than our mothers were, and we have more demands. We have parenting issues such as managing social media with our kids. Life seems to be so fasted pace.

This fast pace causes us to go go go. We get fancy coffee drinks to supply our need for non-stop energy. We eat/drink power bars to supply our need for fuel.

I thought to myself, enough is enough. Creating self-discipline requires daily practice and repetition. This is NOT PERFECTIONISM. It’s practice.

We need to also remove the limitations we have of ourselves. If we limit our willpower and self-control we are putting up the roadblocks and obstacles in our own way.

If you need to get a mental health coach, read a self-help book to help you remove the mental blocks. DO IT! Then start your daily practice.

Taking action on your self-care

For me personally, I set out a goal to do self-care every day at least 15 minutes a day. No excuses!

We all have different lifestyles. Our schedules, time constraints, and amount of kids to take care of our vast.

First you, we, and I have the power to create this discipline. You have the ability to stop and say enough.

YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE than you are giving to yourself.

All these words/actions are things that I thought about and wanted to share with you. They are what we need to show to our family and kids.

Otherwise, we are repeating the mistakes of the prior generation. While also deteriorating our bodies and the value of one’s self.

Self-care WILL make you a better mother

Mom guilt and mommy burnout are two real things we face as a mother.

Let me just start with mommy burnout. Do you ever find yourself feeling like you want to scream inside because all you want to do is be left alone? It has happened to me.

If you have ever had tough days when your patience is low and your response to everything is screaming at the kids. Causing tensions to be high in your house.

Maybe you are so frustrated that even when your husband is around you are annoyed and snippy with him.

These are tall tale signs of mommy burnout. You become the screaming mommy monster. When you are emotionally and physically exhausted because of the chronic stress of parenting and doing it all. It’s your body speaking to you.

Yelling accomplishes nothing. Then you feel horrible for yelling at the kids.

What about the mom guilt. You feel guilty if you do anything to take care of yourself. Put off taking care of yourself because you don’t want the kids to cry if you leave them or can’t find a sitter etc.

Spending any kinda money on yourself is being selfish is what you convenience yourself.

Whatever reasons you say to yourself in your head they are not true! I am guilty of it myself.

When you take care of your self you are a better mother, better wife, happier, more balanced, enjoy life more, and are more productive in all areas of your life.

This is value in taking time for you!

Being the better generation of moms

Personally, I desire to show my kids better. I want to share with my daughters that falling below a normal or desirable level in physical, mental, or moral qualities is not ok as a woman and mom.

This is a mindset shift.

Not only… but also I want them to see that self-care is a discipline and important because THEY ARE IMPORTANT.

To achieve this, I am taking baby steps. Will it be perfect, no? Because there will be times when I don’t feel like working out or want to eat a whole chocolate cake. Yup!

But even this is a lesson I want to share with my kids. Giving yourself grace, and knowing life can be full of ups and downs. Knowing one cookie won’t destroy your discipline.

If you are a mom you know the desires you have and what makes you happy and feel well balanced. Take the 15 mins and create your discipline. Start the revolution of change. Become a better version of yourself.

Ideas for self-care you CAN DO

These self-care ideas can help. You can achieve mental clarity. Help relieve stress, feel happier, sleep better, and keep you feeling more balanced as a busy mom.

They are also actions that your kids can see you do. They say actions speak louder than words. Often we can visualize things are parents did as children. The common phrase is our children are watching all the time.

Small daily practices will get you one step closer to creating your discipline. Each step will make you stronger as a mom. You will also help teach your daughter(s) how to be better mothers.

What are some ways you like to do self-care as a mom? What tools do you use to help you relax or re-center when you are needing to find balance?