You want to scream at the top of your lungs. Your body is so overstimulated, sore, tired and plain beat up. You don’t feel an inch of sexiness which only adds to the more guilt you feel. You have a love-hate relationship with breastfeeding. It’s only 12 pm and you have been touched a gazillion times.
You are so over it but no one understands. To make matters worst you are so fearful to express it because you will feel judged. You are burnt out and you cringe when it’s nursing time or “sexy time”. Am I a bad mother/wife you think to your self.
You love bonding with the baby and all the nursing benefits. You believe in all the great things breastfeeding offers. You love your husband and wish “sexy time” was like it was before. You love your little ones and the cuddles and being able to soothe them.
I found this to be the case with the more kids I had. But each phase a bit different. An adjustment period that was difficult but never the less a period in my motherhood. I also found it to be the case with other woman and soon knew I was not alone.
There are times your skin crawls at the thought of another long night of nursing and touching. You loathe the cry of hunger because it’s only been 2 hours. Which means that sometime between those hours your attached to a pump.
As a new mother, your newborn wakes often for feedings. If you are a mother of many kids, your attention wanted non-stop. Not to mention sleepless nights with kids rolling all around in your bed and on top of you.
You are a working mother with the demands of the workplace. They are exhausting and overwhelming. You need to take breaks to nurse/pump in sometimes the most inconvenient rooms. The U.S. law says “basic accommodations” for a nursing mother.
That means you can find your self in storage rooms, closets, restrooms, and stock rooms. You dread the looks or grunts you get from co-workers. Not to mention, the constant being latched to a machine feeling.
Nursing, pumping and bottle feeding (supplementing) is very time-consuming. Caring for other children on top of it is even harder especially if they too are still very young and close in age.
If you nursed your first child and then transitioned to your next child say 15 months later. You have been nursing non-stop. You have been giving hugs and cuddles to little’s for over 2 years straight. The more kids to have the longer the cycle continues.
I remember having my youngest in the crib down for a nap while I sat pumping in the living room. My 3-year-old played around me. I was so exhausted that I cried because I felt I was letting him down.
As a mother regardless if your a stay at home mom or working mom the expectations to perform never let up. You need to run the household as normal and go to work as normal. All while being everything for everyone.
If you are having supply issues or suffering from mastitis the discomfort and pain alone makes you want to push everyone away. If your breast starts to bleed or crack, you still need to feed. The feeling of being touched in any kinda way is such a turn-off.
Wanting to detach when you are always attached
Kids hang on to momma and needing every min of attention while nursing. This awesome story of this mom and her picture is real life. Read more about this story but if you are a mom the picture alone flashes your own life before your eyes.
Your body was taken over the minute you became pregnant and at that very moment is when the over stimulation began. At least for me it was a factor that played into my touched out phase.
The constant belly checks, belly touches, the vaginal checks and everything else. Drove me a bit crazy. Then it was all the after effects too. They all can play a role in feeling and being touched out.
Please don’t get me wrong I would do it all over again. My children gave me life and helped me discover me. I love them and love being a stay at home mom. But there are season’s of when motherhood gets tough.
This is what this blog post is about. We are not robots and are human. We get exhausted but the world makes you feel like you can’t have moments of vulnerability. Motherhood is hard and can be exhausting and no one should down play that.
It’s normal and just a phase
Let me first tell you that this is normal, you are NOT a bad mom or wife. YOU ARE HUMAN! Feeling touched out is ok.
Seek out ways where you can get a break. Ask for help and communicate how your are feeling with your spouse. It won’t be like this forever but it’s important that you recognize it.
Ideas on how to recover from being touched out
- Take a mommy time out – ask for help from a mom friend or relative to come to hold your baby and watch the kids while you take a nap, shower or just 30 mins to yourself
- Use this blog post to vent – I mean it! Just need to get it off your chest submit a comment, shoot me an email, message me. I am here to listen.
- Put the baby down for a nap when hubby is home and ask him to give you two hours. Go to a store, see a movie, get your hair done, get coffee with a friend.
Ultimately do something that you enjoy and something that will allow you to disconnect. You need me time so you can be mom and wife again. Motherhood is awesome and so are you!!