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Holiday Gift giving made easy: No guilt 5 gift rules

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Do you struggle with Christmas shopping? Maybe you never know the right amount of gifts, money is tight, or you want to teach your kids about the real reason for Christmas. The Christmas 5 gift rule helps create a joyful holiday with the true meaning of Christmas.

Christmas is a big deal in our household. We decorate our house inside and out, however, in efforts to keep the real meaning behind Christmas. We only buy 5 presents for each kid each year.

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This five-gift rule keeps the Christ-centered focus alive. It also teaches our kids the difference between gifts and presents.

It’s so important to understand the real reason behind holiday giving. Christmas should not be full of stress, either.

How the 5 gift rule helps

  1. You stay on budget

    Let’s be honest: Having to buy many gifts can add up, and you can overspend way too fast.

    Check out this post on when to start your Christmas shopping.

  2. Everything is equal

    No hurt feelings, and everything is balanced.

  3. Quality vs quantity

    We would much rather have quality time and teach the value of that.

  4. No Guilt

    By limiting the gifts, you find joy instead of guilt. You also reduce children’s expectation that Christmas is about tons of gifts.

  5. You teach thankfulness

    Creating holiday traditions that discourage materialism.

No list for Christmas

After marriage my husband and I shared our family holiday traditions with each other. We combined what we loved from each of them. We then created our own family traditions based on how we wanted to raise our kids.

It’s our belief that Christmas lists take away the meaning and joy of gift giving and receiving. Christmas is about generosity and creating a list turns this into greed.

Instead, we celebrate the season throughout the entire month, making it the focus of the season instead of listing all of our wants.

Gift Number #1 Christmas Eve gift (P.J.’s)

Being Puerto Rican, it’s traditional that Christmas presents are opened late at night on Christmas Eve.

Growing up with divorced parents and in a blended family and being one of 6 children, I am sure my parents had to budget for Christmas each year as well.

Nevertheless, opening gifts on Christmas Eve was the best.

Every year growing up, we received a new set of pajamas. From fuzzy socks to funny hooded p.j. ‘s, this was always a favorite of mine.

We continued this tradition with our Children, who get a new set of pajamas every Christmas Eve.

This gift can sometimes be a basic pajama set, or I will go all out and get the matching slippers and robe. It just depends on the child and what they need.

The kids love the fact they get to open a gift on Christmas Eve.

Gift Number # 2 Practical gift (Clothing)

Throughout the year, my kids express things they like, such as certain cartoon characters or brands of clothing, depending on their age.

When it comes to gift number two, this gift will be something they need. However, it will also consider something they have expressed to me about what they are into.

For example, my 20-month-old might get a Minnie outfit since that is the main character she likes. My teen might get something Nike-related because she loves the brand. My son will get something from Ryan’s World because he loves watching the show.

The gift, though, will be clothing in some form.

Think about the conversations you have had with your kids throughout the year. What do they talk about all the time? This will give you an idea of what to get.

Gift Number #3 Something Fun (Toy/special item)

Gift number 3 is the gift of pure joy. Giving them a gift they would genuinely enjoy and possibly express interest in.

Usually, this will be a gift my kids will be active with.

Think sports equipment, possible toys, board games, and educational toys.

Gift Number # 4 Something to read

Reading holds a special place for us and our kids. It started when they were young. We use(d) the program 1000 books before kindergarten. We read, on average, 2-3 books at night before bed.

My son, who is nine now at the time of this update, 2024, reads a book a night; I go to the library almost weekly now.

Each child will get a book to add to their library.

It could be a series they are into or a particular author.

Gift number # 5 (Something you want to give)

The last gift is the gift from the heart from Mom and Dad. It could be something your kids don’t even know they want.

But we put great thought into the gift based on each child.

Some years, we use this fifth gift as a family experience gift. For example, one year, we bought the kids tickets to Disney on Ice.

Special events and outings make the perfect gift for gift number 5. There is nothing better than hearing our kids’ stories of the cool places we have taken them. This is the real gift!! Be present in the moments.

Gifts vs presents

The difference for us when it comes to gifts vs presents is this.

When you buy someone a special present, you truly give the gift of joy. When you spend Christmas doing fun things as a family, you give the gift of time. When you help someone, you are giving them the gift of support.

Intangible gifts are often invaluable to their receivers.

By using the five gift rule, you are setting a foundation. Our children hopefully will understand that the gift of love is so much more important.

If you are looking for a neat way to teach your kids about the gift of giving. My mommy friend Kendra Esbrook created a fantastic book.

It’s a perfect way to introduce the holiday tradition of giving back. Thinking of others first.

The name of the book A bag for Santa.

The idea is kids fill the bag with old toys and leave it by the tree on Christmas Eve. Santa will take the toys back to the workshop and fix them up for other kids next year!!

As parents, we love that it encourages children to think of others while clearing toys out of the house right before the holidays.

Each book comes with its own Santa bag to fill. If you have more than one child, you can buy a bag for each of them so each one can participate.

READ MORE:

Why my husband and I don’t exchange gifts on holiday’s

Christmas Shopping In July: Secret 5-Step Guide (ANYONE Can Follow)

Gift opening

Yup, there is a method to this as well. Let me back up, though. Growing up, my family distributed everyone’s gifts. Then, we would all open our gifts at the same time. Everyone was excited to open their gifts, but it was a free-for-all.

My husband’s family tradition was that everyone sat in a circle, and gifts were given to one person at a time, in a round table fashion. Everyone took turns giving their gifts to each other, and the receiver opened them for all to see.

Everyone does things their way. We decided to keep with my husband’s family tradition.

Even though this was a new concept for me, it worked really well.

The gift opening time lasts so much longer. And if you are considering this idea, let me just say.

Have you ever picked out the perfect gift for someone and waited so long to give it to them? When you do, their expression, words, and tears totally warm your heart.

That is the joy of watching each person open their gifts. You can see their expression, hear the thankfulness in their voice, enjoy the excitement, and watch them react.

When everyone is opening gifts at the same time, you miss special moments like that. Plus, the gift-opening process is over in 20 minutes, and Christmas seems to have ended as quickly as it came.

Stockings

We love stockings, and each of our children gets one. We fill them with small gifts, some of which are fun and some of which are practical.

Stocking stuffers are just made to be equal because each child gets the same amount of gifts in them.

Gifts from family members

We don’t limit the number of gifts that our children receive from family members like their grandparents, aunts, and uncles.

But we do, as a family, share a text thread each year. Typically, the thread will consist of the sizes of clothing each child is wearing. Here are a couple of ideas that can help family members with their gift ideas.

Again, we don’t do Christmas lists, so my children are never asked, “What’s on your Christmas list this year?”

Receiving gifts from family members is like a Christmas bonus.

More meaningful Christmas’s

Our kids look forward to Christmas each year.

They still race to the tree early Christmas morning. They still look forward to opening all their gifts.

However, the focus is not on how many gifts you got this year.

We have created a connection between Christmas and intangible gifts. The kids look forward to the entire month and how we celebrate it.

They look forward to the fun times we have and the things we do.

Here are some things to remember if you want to adopt the 5-gift rule.

  • Tiny children don’t remember how many gifts they got each year. So, adopting this at a young age is an easy transition.
  • Older children tend to want more expensive gifts. As they grow, having this five-gift rule will help cover the bases and allow for one more oversized ticket item.
  • Your children are bound to get gifts from all sorts of places during the holidays, including family members and friends. Keeping it simple will prevent them from becoming overwhelmed.
  • You are teaching your children to be more responsible with their finances instead of following the idea that more is better.
  • Talk about what Christmas is really about. Read about the birth of Jesus and the gift the Savior gave

Sometimes, our world creates this anxiety that we must give the latest and greatest to our kids. Don’t let that pressure you. Don’t live Christmas with guilt.

Be connected as a family, spend time together, share laughter, and do things without agendas during the holidays.

What are your favorite family holiday traditions? Do you have a different gift-giving process? The spirit of Christmas is one that can not be replaced. I love hearing what other people do. Tell me in the comments below.